Disclaimer: The author of this blog is well-acquainted with the Law of Attraction and the idea that our words and thoughts create our experience and in fact strives to help others accept that as well. But, 2020. Sometimes, we just have to feel our feelings, as long as we don't swim in them. Therefore, the author asks that you please allow the vent and understand that she is writing the vent to release it.
If you know me in real life or have read this blog before, you know that I see myself as someone that is here to help others, either by saying something funny, or comforting. I decided last month to stop posting until I get a job, thinking that maybe that wouldn't be very long. Though why would I think I am going to get a job soon when I have been trying for 13 months?
After a conversation with a recruiter last week, I realized that the reason I can't get a job, aside from my age which I am sure is a factor, is because mainly the positions hiring business writers are remote, so it's me times all 50 states. Certainly there's competition. But whenever I hear the words, "it's between you and one other person," I know for damn sure that it won't be me. It has literally happened at least 10 times. That is not hyperbole. It is never me.
But someday, it will be. Someday, I will stand out enough for a company to take a chance on me again. Before I got my last job, it was several years before I found anything. Maybe it's my humor writing. My Master's degrees. My wit. Mylanta, I don't know. But gone are the days when finding a job was even a little easy. And that's fine. I will get a job at some point. Surely I have to.
And in the meantime, I can think about the things that I will be able to do once I get a job. The debts that I can pay off. Getting my car fixed and cleaned. Taking my nieces to Five Below and letting them go crazy. Getting a new laptop. A printer. Better internet. Starting a podcast. Going to the doctor. Getting the asthma medication that is but a dream now. Going to the dentist. Finally writing the book about my Mom. I've had a title for years. I just been in the state to write the actual book.
When I was at my last job and feeling financially stable enough to finish my second Master's degree, (boy howdy, that didn't last. Have I mentioned that I hate not being psychic for myself) I took a Playwriting class. I was excited about it until I got to the class and discovered that I was literally the only adult graduate student. Everyone else was 18 or 19, which as you know, doesn't really count as being an adult.
I read my writing and received good feedback, until one day, I didn't. One of my characters was criticized, and I handled it in the most mature fashion.
I quit the class.
So, my perfect writing fantasy is that I will be financially stable and can peacefully focus on writing plays, screenplays, TV scripts, fiction books, memoirs, and self-help books. I have little pieces of a bunch of things already, just nothing that is one manuscript. But I'll get there.
And I'll get a job too. I just would like to take a minute to say to you, the reader, that if you are ever in a position to hire anyone, never tell someone that it is between them and one other person. Because the person you are saying that to may have PTSD and a couple or three complices.
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