Feeling Rejected-Ish, Plus Some Amateur Spoiler-y Falcon and Winter Solider Commentary

This Friday, or next Friday, whatever Friday that is not the Friday we just had, will be my next birthday. 

I'm not unhappy about my birthday, necessarily. My Mom made birthdays a big deal. She even had us celebrating half-birthdays. After my Mom died, I found birthdays a little sad, but now I like them again. Probably it's because of my nieces. Every celebration with them is awesome.

However, my life has not changed substantially since my last birthday. I can walk better, I have everything I need, my cats have everything they need, and I haven't gotten evicted. But I still need a job. A pays enough, or more than enough, benefits included, you can do this, you're part of the team job.

The interviews are becoming more difficult. When I can get them. It is just getting harder to maintain a peaceful disposition throughout the interview, without feeling judged, attacked, rejected, or all three at once.   

They ask condescending questions in tones of judgment. My perception, anyway, possibly not reality. Exaggerated (but not by much) examples of these questions, and my answers, are below,

What was your GPA as an undergraduate?

God knows,  I don't. Do you know how long ago that was? 

Why would you bother to spend your time focusing on getting two master's degrees if all you are doing is administrative business writing?  

Because I like to read literature and discuss it. How stupid of me, to study what I'm interested in!  I don't know if you know this, but I can love literary analysis and also be good at business writing. So bite me.

So, why should we hire you above all the other candidates? What makes you better than them?

Hell if I know.  Clearly, I'm not, or...

Why haven't you found a job yet?

Because I'm an old, possibly over-qualified loser that no one wants to hire? And have I mentioned bite me?

Sidebar:  More than one of my friends and members of my family have expressed frustration and sadness if I refer to myself as a loser. I know I am not a loser. Truly, I promise. I'm just saying that these interviews and not being able to even come close to getting a job, and all the rejection certainly contributes to making me feel loser-ish.

I sure hope something good and reaffirming and heartening happens before my birthday.  Or on my birthday. That would be fine, too!

Okay, enough of this, let's talk about The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. The remainder of this post contains spoilers about Episode 1 so don't read it if you haven't seen it. 

I can't speak with the authority, to the degree that one giving an opinion has an authority, with which I spoke about WandaVision. It has nothing to do with the characters; I love them and I love/loved Cap.  Real Cap, not the stranger that we're supposed to recognize that currently is wearing his uniform. I can't speak with authority about some Cap movies, and about this show, because I cannot watch without fast-forwarding. Too violent for me. I know it's strange to be an MCU fan if I don't like violence.  And I do love a multi-superhero battle! But, I do not like the shooting, stabbing, sudden violence that it feels like is behind the tension of every quiet scene. So, I end up doing a lot of fast-forwarding through the violent parts.

Let's say you befriend a beloved superhero. And then you and that superhero go to Germany and write on the walls (Agent Woo reference!) and fight some other battles, and one day the beloved superhero says to you, "You know what? While I was gallivanting through time returning all the infinity stones, I decided I wanted to live my life, with the love of my life, so I'm not going to be this superhero anymore. Here you go. Take this shield that was made for me by a beloved friend who was also the father of another beloved friend that was also a beloved superhero and also just died tragically. You keep the shield."

Why would you say, "I know what I'll do!  I'll give the shield to a museum." 

I literally yelled at the TV. 

Sam!  Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam! Are you serious with this?  How very dare you?  Yeah yeah yeah, he doesn't think he deserves it blah blah blah blah blah.  I'm sure this line is forthcoming in a future episode: "Steve believed in you. Why don't you believe in yourself?"

Oh, hey Rhody! Good to see you!

Fast forward to Bucky's killing days. Oh no, they got him again! No! Oh thank goodness, just a nightmare.

What the hell with this therapist? She's awful! Who do you think you are, talking to our Bucky like that?  For those of you that have never been to therapy, I recommend it, but if your therapist yells at you, takes your phone and goes through it, and then shames you for spending time alone, run out of her office, or end the Zoom call, whichever applies. I am assuming there is more to the story with her, and I couldn't tell if she was the same therapist or interrogator talking to both Bucky and Sam in the previews.  I wonder if Sharon Carter also needed a therapist after she realized she kissed her uncle. Ask me about my theories on Captain America and time travel!

So anyway, Sam, you may not know how to hold on to Cap's shield, but you sure know how to work some exposition.  Maybe you should change your name from Falcon to Captain Exposition! Nice to meet you, sister Sarah.  

Torres, thank God you're okay!  Don't scare us like that, son.

Oh and gee, what a surprise, Cap's shield has been compromised by someone trying to steal the Captain America name and, presumably profit over it or do evil with it or steal something with it or whatever. 

Also, Sebastian Stan looks like James Roday with his hair like that, and now I can't unsee it.

Thanks for listening, that was fun.  More soon, friends.

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