Subtitled: Steve Schirripa is a Goddamn National Treasure
"It's a great idea not to eat much during the day, and gulp some rosé wine when you get home, and then post on your blog about the stuff that is on your mind." - Nobody, Ever.
I know I have some readers because I see the numbers and I love you so much if you are reading this. Totes devoted to you forever. I have had only a little wine, but I'm a super-lightweight and a few sips go a long way.
What am I babbling about? That I spend quite a bit of time beating myself up for not blogging daily, or for not having the energy some days to write you guys sensible, funny, helpful posts that will give you all whatever you happen to need that day, so that you will read my blog and think, "Oh, she's funny," or "Oh, what she says makes sense and is helpful," or "That crazy-ass thing that happened to her happened to me too, so now I feel better."
But honestly, as much as you may like me, really like me, the only person that cares if I blog every day is (checks notes) me.
So I have to stop beating myself up. I was having a lot of fun blogging about WandaVision's first four episodes! But I honestly do not feel like watching TV. I am trying to keep myself centered, but that requires a lot of effort, and watching TV just jars me. Just give me a nice murder podcast and my laptop with some coffee, chocolate, or wine, and I'm fine. I don't feel like watching Wanda at the moment, so that means I cannot offer my readers a permanent place for recaps and analysis at this time, even if I love it, and even if they love it.
Again, I am probably the only one that cares. And so, please understand that my posting helps me process this thing, which I am currently beating myself up about. So it's not just you guys I want to help with my posts. It's me, too. Because I love writing! And it feels great to do it every day. But sometimes I am tired, or in anxiety, and I can't.
What does all of this have to do with Steve Schirripa?
Recently on Facebook, a friend of mine posted she had just finished a binge-watch of The Sopranos and wanted to know if anyone had a suggestion for a follow-up. Recognizing that my own TV bing suggestions are nerdy, or no one's cup of coffee but my own, (The Dick Van Dyke Show, The West Wing, Marvel movies, etc.), I instead suggested a podcast (shocker) that I had heard advertised: Talking Sopranos with Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa. Then I immediately thought after posting, "That sounds good; I think I'll listen to that too!" You know I love a podcast analysis of a TV show, whether or not I watched it.
I'm two episodes in, and I really feel things would improve for me if I could get Steve Schirripa to narrate my life. You know, in case Ron Howard ever needs a day off. To make a potentially long blog post short, I found out through this podcast that workers in every industry, even well-known actors who audition for parts they feel they were born to play, leave interviews/auditions feeling like they bombed, as Michael Imperioli shared happened to him when he left the audition for the role of Christopher Moltisanti (who was apparently called Dean at first; no one knows why. I am willing to bet because they didn't want him to be called Dino. But, I digress).
So, Michael Imperioli is talking about how horrible he felt when he left the audition, thinking he had blown it.
"Well, that's better than the opposite," says Goddamn National Treasure, Steve Schirripa. "When they tell you that you did great and they love you, but they don't give you the job!"
Steve Schirripa! You get me. He talked about his own experiences, like if they rave about you that's actually a kiss of death. And I realized: I am the Steve Schirppa of Business Writing.
Last night I had to walk away from even applying for something that I didn't want, after a few time-wasting phone calls with the recruiter. I mean, I sort of wanted it. It was a job, it was writng, it paid okay. But I would have had to buy a certain type of laptop to even start the job. It was not a permanent job it was just contract. There was medical insurance (I need my freakin' asthma meds and I'm trying not to have a panic attack because I do have the rescue inhalers and that is the most important but YOU GUYS I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT I'M TOO ANXIOUS.
In other words, yes, it would have paid something and been a job, but there would have been too many things that would have not been great for me and potentially contribute to me being even more in anxiety than I already am. I was just talking to a friend about something that I would do if I don't have a job by mid-March. Then I realized, why would I have a job by mid-March? I haven't been able to get one in a year. What makes me think I can get one in three weeks?
Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Am I bad at business writing and don't realize it? The irony is, I love business writing and editing! Most people who do it (per my informal poll) hate it. But I love it. Yet, I can't get a job.
I have to believe Divine Timing is at work here.
What would Steve Schirripa do in this situation?
(Pours more rosé and considers next move).
I promise on all that is dear to me that I'll get to WandaVision at some point. Please keep checking back. Thank you for understanding!
Here are my links and such-like!
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