- Me, when Joe Biden picked Kamala Harris as VP
I try not to talk about politics, though what is a blog for if not for political rants? It's not a secret really that I believe Black Lives Matter, Kamala Harris is a goddess, and Trump is a narcissist.
When he won the election in 2016, life became really difficult. Not because of him, but he didn't help. I found myself triggered by him immediately because it was as if all the people who had ever hurt me, the men who had sexually assaulted me, the narcissists who had crushed me, the bullies who had trampled me - were all in one person, and that person was in the White House, a place where previously there were people we trusted to take care of us..
He represented pain for me and hatred for others, and from mid-2018 to just about a few months ago when I started feeling better, massive depression and physical illness mirrored my feelings of wanting to run away from the news. I was always a believer that things would get better, not with him, but still somehow, and I never stopped believing that, even if sometimes I stopped feeling it.
You guys, I love Kamala Harris SO much. She makes me feel better. She makes me feel like I will make it, like things will be okay, like I should keep believing in my dreams and go for them. She reminds me of my high school counselor, Beverly.
I was a shy teenager. Though I had been accepted at the Philadelphia High School for Creative and Performing Arts (for writing - I don't have secret musical talents that you guys don't know about), I intentionally chose a small high school, known as a "school without walls" (Kevin Bacon went there, do a Google) because it was the first time in my life I could ever make such a decision, a decision about my own actual future, and the idea of being in a school with hundreds of confident students intimidated me. I would never stand out amongst them, except in negative ways.
I liked Parkway, but my shyness didn't leave. Memories of being tortured in all my other grades remained. I could speak, but I hadn't found my voice, and my shyness wouldn't allow me to try anymore in front of anyone else. So I mostly stayed quiet, except for one-on-one conversations. This resulted in me having friends, but being excruciatingly uncomfortable in my classes, even though they were small. If there were any over two other people in a conversation with me, I shut down.
I don't remember how I ended up approaching Beverly or if a teacher referred me, but we met every Friday in her office. She listened to me, she gave me tools and ways to think of myself and to deal with the pain of childhood and the anxiety of impending adulthood, she encouraged my writing, and she even sometimes bought me presents. She was wonderful and one of the few adults in my life that I felt I could trust and one of the few people that I felt genuinely liked me.
Like Kamala, listening to her helped me find a confidence that allowed me to feel that I would be okay.
If anyone knows a Beverly Richards that worked at the Parkway Program in the 1980's/1990's, please let her know that I am not obsessed with her or stalking her but I love her and appreciate her for all she did to help me.
Anyway - KAMALA!
It's going to be okay. We'll get through everything. If you feel alone, you are not.
Today's Recommendation: Randy Rainbow, "KAMALA!"
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