A few of you have written me and said that you admire me putting myself out there like this. Thank you. I have always felt compelled to do that. I have a couple or three books I want to write, not including the cookbook for people who don't like to cook that my Mom always said I should write.
I am not saying I'm brilliant or perfect, but a lot of stuff has happened to me, and I understand more about thoughts and feelings and how to shift them than many people do, so I know it is not an unreasonable goal for me to want to help people.I have been doing that in some form or other most of my adult life. I like to make people laugh, and I want to help people. Because I seem to be doing well at setting and following goals this past few weeks, I am officially announcing with no fear of bad luck coming to me that it is my goal to start a podcast this year. I don't even have real computer right now (love you, Tiny Tablet Laptop!) so it's not happening immediately, and in order to avoid feeling like I have failed if I don't do it by a certain time, I'm not even setting a month. Just this year.
Maybe I'll make people laugh, maybe I'll help them, maybe both. Probably won't dye my hair when it is time to record, though.
So far this year and for the past couple of months, I seem to be doing well with setting small goals, and not getting mad at myself if I don't. This is big for me, because a lot of the past few years, my inner voice has been yelling at me, or sometimes not yelling but pushing me to do more. I always tell my clients to make sure they treat themselves the way they would treat a child, but I forget to check myself on that.
In the past I would yell at myself, panic, and mess things up even more if I got too upset. That seems to not be happening as much (not saying never, just not as much). I have been eating better for a few weeks, I've been exercising for a few months, I'm posting on the blog daily, and I'm not yelling at myself.
Actually, wait. True confessions, I did have a panic moment earlier. I was so happy today, when our Vice President was sworn in and I cried happy tears throughout the rest of the Inauguration ceremony. I went about the rest of my day after I turned off NBC, when later on, I was suddenly terrified about something, and I panicked.
It took me a while, but I talked myself down , and I felt better. Then I reached out to a friend, and she reassured me. Then I felt a lot better.
Does this happen to you? If it does, you now know that you are not alone. I think we are all healing from the massive global trauma of last year, and so we all have to take things one day at a time.
In fact, we can all take things one moment at a time, which, according to a game of Trivial Pursuit I played with my Mom in the eighties, is about 90 seconds.
I still don't know what I'm having for dinner.
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